Thursday, May 15, 2008

BUT HOW DOES IT KNOW?

Every so often, an invention comes along that revolutionizes the way that we live our lives. Last weekend I invited one such invention into my home and I know now that my life will never be the same. On Saturday morning, there was a knock at the door, and a wonderful man, perhaps a saint or angel from heaven, brought me a magical box that records all of my TV shows. All I do is type in the name of a program that I like and it automatically gets put into the magic box, then I can watch it when ever I want! I can even fast forward through commercials or other parts of a program that I don’t care to watch, which is really quite amazing. Do you realize that it really only takes 4 minutes to watch an American Idol results show? The funny thing is that even when fast forwarding through commercials, I have found my self rewinding and choosing to actually watch select commercials, such as those oh so clever, apple vs. PC adds that everyone loves. I don’t know how the magic box works, and frankly I don’t care. As long as when I get home from a Thursday night happy hour and The Office is there, then I am a happy girl. This wonderful invention correlates directly with joke that has become some what of a Kapral family classic:

There was a conference in London where all of the greatest scientists in the world have met to discuss the greatest invention ever.

German scientist responds first saying, "That's easy; the automobile. It opened up society and changed our way of life. Offshoots such as the truck changed distribution, the development of cities, rural areas, and suburbs."

The American scientist says. "No, it was the telephone. It revolutionized communications, made anyone accessible to anyone else, anywhere in the world. It created the template for all future communications media, changed business, social interaction, and created entire industries."

The Polish scientist then says, "No. It’s the thermos."

The other two scientists are incredulous. "The thermos? How do you figure? All it does it keep hot things hot, and cold things cold!”

"Yeah, but how does it know?"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

TOILET TALK

We complain about traveling all the time. Waiting in long lines to check in, delayed flights, having our carry on items ransacked and being forced to discard those little bottles of shampoo that I love so much. But after this guys story, I don’t think I’ll ever complain about flying again.

AIRLINE SAT ME ON CAN
$2M SUIT VS. JETBLUE

By DAREH GREGORIAN
May 13, 2008 -- A JetBlue pilot forced a Manhattan man to sit on the toilet for
three hours during a cross-country flight to free up his seat for a stewardess,
the flush-with-fury passenger charges in a $2 million lawsuit filed yesterday.

Gokhan Mutlu claims the experience made him feel like a first-class
loo-ser - and his Manhattan Supreme Court suit says that he suffered "emotional
and psychological trauma" and that the JetBlue crew "publicly . . . humiliated
and dishonored" him.

"In the middle of the flight, the pilot told me to
go to the bathroom and have a seat," Mutlu told The Post from his home in upper
Manhattan last night.

"I guess the flight was overbooked, and I didn't
want to make a big deal in front of the other passengers, so I just had a seat.
"I don't feel good. I was humiliated."

Mutlu says the can-finement
happened Feb. 23, when he was a standby passenger for a flight from San Diego to
New York.

He was told the flight was full, but a stewardess told him
that he could take her assigned seat and that she would sit in the "jump seat,"
said his lawyer, Zafer Akin.

Mutlu was issued a boarding pass and took
Seat 2E, but got a rude awakening as he dozed off about 90 minutes into the
red-eye flight, he claims.

The pilot called him to the front and
"advised the plaintiff that he would have to give his seat up" to the flight
attendant, the suit says.

The pilot told him the "flight attendant
wanted to be more comfortable and that the 'jump seat' was not comfortable for
her."

A stunned Mutlu asked whether that meant he was supposed to sit in
the jump seat for the rest of the five-hour flight, but the pilot told him that
would be against regulations, Akin said.

The pilot told him to "hang
out" in the bathroom," the suit says, adding the stewardess took Mutlu's seat,
"closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.

When Mutlu argued, the pilot
advised him that "this was his plane, under his command, and that [he] should be
grateful for being onboard," the suit says.

"The plaintiff walked to the
back of the plane, trying to hide and cover his face," and "stepped into the
bathroom, closed the door and locked it," the suit says.

Soon after, the
plane ran into turbulence. While other passengers were ordered to buckle up,
Mutlu was "sitting on a toilet stool with no seat belts," the suit claims.

"He was looking for things to hold on to," Akin said.

After
landing, the suit says, the pilot asked Mutlu "if everything was OK."

"The pilot said, 'I don't think you appreciate what I did for you.'
My client said, 'You locked me in the bathroom,' " Akin said.

"I brought
you home," the pilot countered.

Akin said his client would have been
happy to wait for a later flight, and probably wouldn't have sued had the crew
let him sit in the jump seat.

JetBlue said it doesn't comment on pending
litigation.

Friday, May 2, 2008

TEXTING YOUR WAY TO LOVE

We've all done it. We meet someone we're interested in at a bar and exchange numbers, but instead of being an adult and actually calling them to ask them out on a date, we start the ritual of text messaging. Here is a step by step how to guide for finding love over text message. Enjoy!