Monday, July 28, 2008

JUST A SPOON FULL OF SUGAR

After seeing this ad on Craigslist, I have come to the conclusion that it is finally time to leave my job at Vh1 and pursue my life long dream of being a nanny to 5 pathetically spoiled kids from the Upper East Side. Life in the city is hard for kids these days, and what would a 19-year-old college freshman do if he didn't have someone to pick up his dry cleaning or manage his social calendar? I am 100% legal; I speak perfect English (I think), I'm skinny or "in shape" as they put it, and I have more than just "some college." Plus the 60-75 k ain't bad. Maybe this will be my opportunity to get that new iPhone I want, it surely would help me "interface" with the other assistants.


WANTED: Nanny/Family Assistant to start 2nd week in September (Upper East Side)

We're a family of ten. My husband and myself, our 5 children, 2 dogs, and cat. For as long as we've lived in the city we have been lucky to have the same nanny/family assistant. Originally starting out as my eldest son's baby nurse and staying with us for nearly 19 years.

I have had a hard time meeting people that have been right for the position. We've sought help from agencies and other nanny finding sites and have now moved here in search for some more dynamic candidates.

I feel that I must be up front, this job is a VERY much so a FULL TIME job with NO flexibility. Both my husband and self work full time in jobs where it is essential for us to work long hours (hedge fund and fashion industry).

I do need to be upfront when I say my children can be a bit difficult. This job is very nontraditional in the sense that my kids are older and still need someone to "parent" them 24/7. My oldest son will be starting his first year at Columbia in the fall and will not be around much, but, will probably still need support. Picking up his dry cleaning, if he needs anything for his apartment, scheduling doctor appointments, anything to help him and his daily life run smoothly.

The younger three, well, they're the one's you will have the most interaction with. They are 14 (son), 12 (daughter), and 9 (daughter). They are extremely particular and each have their own set of demands and little "isms" about them, but, I assure you they are entertaining, charming, and delightful most of the time.

Mostly impart to my children's ages the nanny will be expected to do some "family assistant" type jobs. This includes food shopping, light errand running, coordination of children's school and personal schedules in a way that both my husband and I can access, walking dogs, and interfacing with our assistants.

You should be: Younger and ambitious. This job is a lot of hours and not always easy for people that are not in shape to keep up with my kids.

MUST be 100% legal and able to speak PERFECT English. MUST be presentable/polished. MUST have SOME college. City savvy and Blackberry Accessible. HONEST. AND willing to have at least a 2 year contract.
Compensation will be: 18 days paid vacation. Half to be determined by you the rest by us. Health/Dental benefits (full, great plan) (after 90 days)

60-75 k DOE Paid over time at the rate of $60 an hour for any amount of time worked over 50 hours.

Option to live in our beautiful second apartment located on 84th between Park and Lex for a reduced rent.

To apply for this job please submit the following: "Resume" outlining your child care experience. A brief explanation of why you want to apply. My family and I will review these as they come in and will contact you with in 24 hours if we'd like to move you further along in the interview process. Please make the subject of your email- Nanny of 10 Position.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

VIVA LAS VEGAS

It's summer, and you know what that means... WEDDING SEASON! To celebrate my parents' 30th anniversary, we took a nice little family trip to sin city, because nothing says love and commitment like Las Vegas. During our time there, Momma and Papa Kaps headed on over to the Little White Wedding Chapel to have their vows renewed - at midnight. And oh how the mayhem ensued. Just take a look at their webpage and try to tell me that this place doesn't ooze sophistication and class. You know it's going to be good when you're driving down the street and one side is all wedding chapels and the other side is strip clubs and massage parlors. This place also gave its patrons the opportunity to have a drive through wedding, and I'm pretty sure at least one of the "minsters" was an ex-con. There were so many crazy things that words cannot do it justice, so I'll let the video speak for itself. It was a sentimental event for the entire family - oh, and Elvis was there too.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

I'm not talking about bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens (You've had an extra pair this whole time?) I'm talking about my favorite youtube clips. We all have those times when we're at work and maybe feeling a little down, but thank god for youtube! Here are a few of the videos that I can watch over and over and will always, ALWAYS brighten my day. Or at least make me look like a fool when I laugh out loud at my desk.

UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP

Being a Telecommunications major, I cannot tell you how many classes, and hours of my college career were spent talking about not only the FCC and censorship but also regulations dealing with children's programming. So it pleases me when I can see the two come together in such a hilarious way. And I love anything inappropriate.




BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA*

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, this is very much a real trailer for a real movie. I have been following the press for this film very closely and was ecstatic to finally see the trailer for it when I went to see Wall-E the other week. It might be the dancing and signing dogs, it might have been the margarita's I had at dinner just before, but seeing this just make me burst out laughing, even more than seeing Pierce Brosnan sing in Mama-Mia! 50% Worrier, 50% Lover, 100% Chihuahua? This movie is going to be so bad that it'll make those horrid Rob Schneider movies look like Citizen Kane... but I'll probably go see it anyway.


* I had to look up how to spell "Chihuahua" because I had no clue. And have you ever tried to type this word? It is inappropriately difficult.

SHOWBIZ PIZZA BAND PERFOMRS "LOVE IN THIS CLUB"

When I was a kid, I loved going to Showbiz Pizza, that was what it was called before it got bought out by the evilness that is Chucky Cheese. I loved ski ball, whack-a-mole the ball pit, the whole nine yards. But by far the best part about Showbiz Pizza was the animatronic animal robot band that would play for you while you ate pizza and your parents drank beer. It's kind of like a poor man's country bear jamboree. If I ever get rich, I'm talking Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen rich, I will do exactly what this gentleman has done. I will purchase all of the robots, props, and set, and program the band to play my favorite songs in my basement.